Positivity & Positive Thinking
I want to tell you about Katie, I am sure you know her already, perhaps not the same Katie, but certainly ‘a Katie.’
Poor Katie drew a bad hand in life; she didn’t do great at school because, as she tells the story, the teachers were idiots.
She always dreamed of a cool apartment overlooking the sea, with a little dog called Jack.
Poor Katie, right?
Unfortunately, because her boss is an asshole she has to rent a crummy little studio apartment in a rough part of town, and since the landlord is a total douche and doesn’t allow pets, she is not even allowed to have a dog.
Talk to Katie yourself, and she will tell you how unfair life is and how she deserves so much more.
Way more than ‘so and so,’ ‘whose it,’ or ‘what’s her name,’ yet they have everything she wants. She will tell you that nobody understands her and that all her friends are two-faced bitches who are out to cause as much trouble as possible.
Is it conceivable that Katie just got an unlucky break in life?
Is there any chance that she is correct in her assessment? Let’s put it this way.
Not a chance!
Katie is a victim, and these victims are everywhere—we can’t move for them. These are the people don’t have a shred of positivity in them. They believe life owes them something, and they often spend an entire lifetime furious that the neighbor got yet another new car, or so and so got promoted at work.
Victims not only suck the energy out of their own lives but do the same for anyone who comes close enough to get caught up in their vortex of doom. I call them ‘Mood Hoovers’ and I am almost certain you can think of at least a few people who fit perfectly into this description.
How do you help a victim?
The short answer? You can’t because they don’t want to be helped. They like being the victim; it gives them a convenient explanation as to why their life blows chunks. Forget about positivity, on their deathbed you could ask them ‘why didn’t you live the life you were truly capable of,’ and they will have enough plausible deniability to stubbornly point at something or someone and say ‘because of that.’
All the time they are pointing a finger of blame at everything and everyone else around them, they are blissfully unaware that they have three fingers pointed right back at them. It is frustrating to care about this type of a victim because you can see the huge untapped potential in them, but they cannot.
When they look in the mirror, all they see is someone who has been badly treated by life.
Positive thinking and positivity is always a choice
If they are a friend or family member, perhaps even your son or daughter, you will desperately try to help them see the truth, but in my experience, all you will end up doing is expending vast amounts of time, money and energy to get precisely nowhere with them.
The harsh reality is this; we are all divine creations.
We each have a fragment of God embedded within us, and we all have the power to perform our own miracles. If we take decisive action and flow with the universe instead of kicking violently trying to go back upstream, we can manifest breathtakingly amazing lives for ourselves. Victims have this power too, but they choose to ignore it.
How to spot a victim
Victims have reasons, lots of them and often they seem like entirely logical and plausible explanations.
- I am ill because the doctor gave me the wrong medicine.
- I am poor because my boss is a jerk.
- I got fired because I am a woman.
- I became redundant because I am black.
- They won’t employ me because I am white.
- I can’t quit drinking because it’s the only pleasure I have left.
- I am too stressed to stop smoking.
The list goes on and on, and all of it is 100% bullshit.
There are four certainties in this life. You will be born, you will die, and in between, you will pay taxes and life will repeatedly knock you down.
As Rocky Balboa says, ‘Ain’t nothing going to hit as hard as life.’ Getting knocked down is not bad luck any more than turning on the tap and getting water could be considered good luck. Life is getting knocked down; the choice is getting back up again, looking it in the eye and saying ‘is that all you got, hit me again, but this time put some effort into it!’
The reason you can’t help the victims is that when they do get knocked down, they love it. It gives them what they want, an excuse not to get back up again, and proves the point they’ve been trying to make all along.
They are like boxers who are too tired to keep fighting and are hoping for one decent punch so they can fall with dignity and stay the hell down until the referee counts ten.
Stop reading for ten minutes and think about the victims in your life. Ask yourself who they are, how long they have been there and most importantly, how much time you are spending trying to make them feel better. Which, in case you hadn’t noticed, is like trying to push oil uphill.
Once you are clear about who these people are, I want you to make a conscious decision to spend less and less time in their company–until they are no longer a part of your life. That’s right; I am asking you to fire the mood Hoovers in your life.
You can’t help them, and they are not helping you, so it’s time for them to go.
I know you are here for positivity coaching and there is a way to help, but it is almost certainly not what you are doing at the moment. If dumping them out of your life is not possible, or you are not comfortable doing that, then at least reduce the amount of time you spend with them.
Unlock Your Full Potential
Ready to start living life like you mean it?
Why not come spend the day with me (or take my online course) and find out how to love yourself and unlock your full potential.
Unleashed is the most potent and effective positivity event I ever created and I have seen it change lives in the most dramatic way – are you going to be the next?