How to stop being jealous? Jealousy is powerful, so powerful that it can kill. Relationships end due to jealous disputes and some people kill other people because they are jealous.
Imagine this. You go to a party and somebody is friendly and you smile. Your other half thinks that you are betraying her. Or your partner tells you a funny story about a former lover and you feel threatened.
You experience the anger and the anxiety increasing within you and you don’t know what to do.
Lisa might identify with this. She would glare at her companion, attempting to send him a “message” that she was really upset and hurt. She hoped he would get the message.
At times she would withdraw into pouting, intending to discipline him for demonstrating a curiosity in another person. But it didn’t work. He just felt baffled.
At other periods Lisa would ask him if he still found her attractive.
Was he becoming jaded with her? Was she his type? Initially, he would comfort her, but then – with repeated demands for her for more reassurance– he started to question why she felt so unsure. Maybe she wasn’t the right one for him.
How to stop being jealous and protect your relationships
And when things got more difficult for Lisa, she would yell at him, “Why don’t you go home with her? It’s clear you want to!”.
These type of jealous conflicts can terminate a romantic relationship.
But, if you are jealous, does this mean that there is something terribly out of line with you?
Let’s look at what is going on when you are envious and how you can deal with it.
How to stop being jealous… first accept that jealousy is enraged agitated worry.
When we are jealous we stress that our partner might find another person more appealing and we worry that he or she will reject us. Because we feel scared that our partner might find someone more attractive, we may activate jealousy as a method to cope with this danger.
We may believe that our jealousy may keep us from being surprised, assist us defend our rights, and compel our spouse to surrender interests elsewhere. Just like worry, envy may be a “tactic” that we use to ensure that we can figure out what is failing or learn what our partner “really feels”.
We may also believe that our jealousy can stimulate us to give up on the relationship, so that we don’t get hurt any more. If you are feeling jealous, it’s essential to ask yourself what you hope to get by your jealousy. We view envy as a coping solution but it really causes more harm than it does us good!
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