Improve Confidence – You would probably agree with me that Wayne Rooney is a very confident and successful soccer player, Colin Keapernick is a very talented football player. And Victor Marteniz is a superb baseball star of the MLB. But what do we mean by confident and successful, and why are they considered to be so much more worthy of the label than we give ourselves?
Let’s take Wayne Rooney for example. Last season he made one thousand eight hundred and ninety nine shots at goal in the UK Premiership division. Of those eight hundred and ninety eight shots got nowhere near the goal! The total number of balls that came off his soccer boot and went into the back of the net was two hundred and eighty four!
This means that eighty five percent of the shots Wayne Rooney takes end up missing the target – what a big fat loser right? Of course not, we are certain in our belief that he is a success as a soccer player. So why do guys who approach ten women and get one number consider themselves a failure?
What I want you to do is stop believing that not getting the outcome you want is failure. Wayne Rooney never stops shooting at the goal. Every opportunity to score he gets, he takes. Without the hundreds and hundreds of misses he would not be able to achieve the hits and ‘earn’ his eighteen million dollars a year. Just in case you were wondering what that works out at per goal, it’s sixty four thousand dollars for each one – no wonder he never stops shooting!
Never stop shooting for the goal
When you get out there and do the thing that scares you, whether that is making a presentation at work or approaching the hot girl in the supermarket. Sometimes you are going to get a different outcome than you wanted. But be okay with that; understand that without those moments you can’t be the person you want to be. It’s okay to be okay and failure is a victory in its own right!
Once you can start living this new mindset. What you will find is that the old programs in your head that were not serving you in a positive way get deleted and replaced.
On an improve confidence bootcamp I sometimes challenge students to go on a rejection mission. This is where you go out with the sole purpose of failing. I actually don’t want you to succeed at this task. You might go up to the super hot, catwalk model and get blown out, that’s great!
I might ask you to interrupt a group of people chatting over lunch. Go and tell them a joke that fails to make them laugh – perfect, I love it! Get comfortable with failing. It’s no big deal and what you will discover is nobody really cares. Once you get detached from the outcome. Then you are going to become more confident than you ever thought possible.