How to Build Your Confidence and Win at Your Date

how to attract girls

how to attract girls


Are you hesitant to approach women and talk to them out because you just don’t how to?

Is self-esteem your number one problem when it comes to dating?

You’re not alone.

In fact, so many men that don’t know how to be confident around girls struggle with low self-esteem and shyness. As a result, they won’t even start a conversation from fear of rejection.


The Truth Is…

That it doesn’t have to be this way. You can build your self-confidence and be relaxed in the company of any woman if you embrace a few simple changes.

For example, some of the most confident guys out there can easily charm any woman just because they’ve learned how to effectively communicate with them.

So if you want to master communication, you need to socialize with all kinds of people – not just women – as much as possible. But at the same time, try to be a good listener.


Keep reading to discover the best ways to overcome your shyness and boost your self-esteem around women.

The Best Tips on How to Be Confident Around Girls

Start by Taking One Step At A Time

The first step to learning how to be confident around girls is to take it one step at a time.

Don’t expect things to change overnight. Remember, self-esteem is a result of dedicated inner work and practice.

So if you’re not ready to approach the girl you’re interested in, start chatting up with interesting people around the bar. This way, you’ll break the ice. Then, when you feel ready, you can start talking to her.

As for the pickup lines, be original and avoid the cheesy, textbook ones.

For example, give the girl an honest compliment or ask her how her day was. Anything that’ll show her you’re genuinely interested in what she has to say is a bonus.

Also, bear in mind that self-confidence can only be faked to a certain point. There’s a difference between healthy self-esteem and having an inflated sense of self-worth.


Be a Good Listener

If you’ve made it past the initial sentence, you should get the conversation flowing further.

Women love to talk, but you should know how to listen. For example, don’t interrupt her, don’t look away or stare at your phone. Also, try to follow-up with questions related to the conversation.

When you talk about yourself, don’t drag your story to eternity. Women don’t like the humble-brag types of men.


Don’t Be Hard on Yourself

In the dating game, both men and women are prone to rejection. And this is completely normal in social interactions of all kinds.

However, men with low self-esteem have a tendency to take rejection personally. This can stop them from trying again.

If you get rejected by a girl you like, don’t let this discourage you. In fact, you should realize that each rejection leads you to a potentially great girl.


Work on Your Body Language

Besides your verbal language, you should also pay attention to your body language. Non-verbal communication can say a lot about you, even if you’re not actively trying to.

So stand in front of the mirror and take a look at your posture. If you’re slouchy and don’t make eye contact, your body sends the message that you don’t want to be bothered. And if you’re trying to learn how to be confident around girls, you need to be open.

The way you sit when you talk to a girl can speak volumes about how relaxed you are. So if your body is away from her, it’ll give her the impression that you’re not interested.

Crossing your arms or keeping them in your pockets can give the impression of shyness.

Also, what you do with your hands and how you react to conversations are other big cues. Nail-biting, fidgeting, constantly touching your hair or face are big no-nos if you want to show confidence.


Be More Assertive

Women are attracted to assertive men.

But if you’re shy, you can practice this by ordering a drink for the girl, or lead the conversation.

Another example is suggesting going to a different place or asking her for a second date. Even having a strong opinion on a certain topic and elaborating it counts as assertiveness.

Being more open and outgoing comes with time and practice, so have patience with yourself and keep trying.


Try To Be Yourself

This goes without saying, but being someone you’re not won’t do you any favors. Being confident in who you really are as a person means you’re comfortable with your virtues and flaws.

And the women who are ready to get to know you better will gladly do so.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you should tell her your entire life story on the first date. Uncover details about yourself little by little. However, don’t let it be the only topic of conversation.

Women appreciate authentic men who are comfortable in their own skin.


Dress to Impress

Sure, this is a cliche, but looking put together and being well-groomed can boost your self-confidence significantly.

This is because the right clothes can actually make you feel better about yourself. And more importantly, women are attracted to well-dressed men.

But this doesn’t mean you should wear things that make you feel uncomfortable. Find your most basic sense of style and work around that. Dress for the occasion and always wear clean, ironed clothes.

Get regular haircuts, keep your beard neat and maintain a high level of personal hygiene.


Bottom Line

The process of learning how to be confident around girls has its own challenges, but it’s also a rewarding experience.

You’ll learn new things about yourself, but also about other people, especially women.

You’ll see they’re not some mystical creatures playing hard to get (though there are those too). And that the most important card up your sleeve is the desire to talk to a woman, have fun with her and not overthink things.

Do you have any tips to add to our list that worked for you? Let us know in the comments below!

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Craig Beck

About The Author: Craig Beck ([email protected]) is the author of several bestselling personal development books and audiobooks. Including Unleashed: How to love yourself more and unlock your full potential, available on Amazon, Audible and in all good bookstores. Craig is also a certified master practitioner of neuro-linguistic programming, hypnotherapy, timeline therapy and a highly in-demand international motivational speaker.

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